Keeping Love Alive

Keeping Love Alive

Love is the center of every relationship.  One of the most famous songs by the band The Eagles was titled “Love Will Keep Us Alive.”  However, love is not the only thing that keeps couples together.  There are things that need to be present in order to keep a relationship healthy and flourishing.

These qualities are essential for both partners in order to maintain a healthy relationship:

Trusting each other. This means loyalty. Being confident that your partner will remain loyal despite the fact that he/she is surrounded by temptations.  This is knowing that your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife loves you enough not to cheat on you.  Being jealous and overreacting to situations without knowing the facts is harmful.  Acting on impulse because of jealousy will only bring issues to the relationship.

Respect for each other.  Give respect to your significant other so that it comes back to you.  Treat others the way you would want to be treated and it will be reciprocated.  This include respect for your individuality, for your unique personality, your sense of humor, or even the weirdest things about you. It also entails having respect for the decision that you make, whereas your partner understands and respect your decisions. In simple terms, mutual respect in a relationship means that you value each other’s differences and understand them, not trying to change other person’s personality. You love them for who they are.

Maintain a sense of fairness. Relationships are never one-way street.  It should always be give and take.  This may be something as simple as choosing a location for vacation or a movie to watch.  This means establishing mutual consent on whatever the couple wants to do, instead of making the decision without the other person’s being aware and then it becomes a battle for power.

Keep an Open line of Communication.  Allowing the freedom for each other to express feelings honestly without the fear of being ridiculed or misinterpreted is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship.  Being able to initiate a conversation to speak what is on your mind shows that there is a comfort in the relationship to discuss a vast array of topics with each other. Be mindful that what is being said is taken in a pleasant and constructive way.  Remember is not what you say, but how you say it.

Honest, Honesty, Honesty. Honesty and trust goes hand in hand.  Being honest in a relationship builds trust.  If honesty doesn’t exist in the relationship, trust disappears as well.  With both of these qualities absent between two people, there is no relationship.  Many times honesty and trust issues arise because one person is in doubt because of previous issues from past relationships.  Stop killing your relationship with past issues.

Support. This doesn’t only mean offering your support to your partner when they’re down or faced with a difficult situation. Your partner also needs your support during times of happiness and triumph.  It such a wonderful feeling to know that someone’s with you when you’re in the mud, but it’s also nice to have someone to share your sweet success with.


Separate Identities. This means compromising in situations where there is a difference in interest. This doesn’t have to end up with one losing his identity just to give way to the other person. Both partners should still be able to maintain time for their own interest like when they started with the relationship.

Relationships don’t work out on its own, it needs work.   What may have started as a love-filled relationship is not guaranteed to end up love-filled like before.  Falling in love is easy, staying in love requires work.  Not many people want to put the work in, but they want to be loved.  Understanding you and your partner’s differences, embracing those little difference and working around those will make your relationship easier to handle. Keeping it healthy, will make you both flourish and grow not just as individuals, but as a couple as well. Keeping the Love alive.

Mind Fitness

Meditation, an exercise recommended for everyone, especially to relieve the stress caused by our hectic, stressful lifestyles, is defined as an engagement in contemplation, especially of a spiritual or devotional nature. Meditation has been shown to relieve stress, and promote overall good health, by simply reflecting upon our day and finding happiness within ourselves.  This and other mind exercises can help us to keep our mind fit and functioning at optimal performance levels.

Our spirituality and meditation practices are the tools we have available to keep our mind as fit as we keep our bodies. The mind is a complicated and versatile machine, but it can become overwhelmed and unable to function correctly, if we don’t take the time to care for it properly.

Our mind has varying levels of operation, known as brainwaves. As we pass through the different stages of our day, we enter various stages of brain wave activity.  The brain uses this tool as one way to allow us time to rest our busy mind and cope with all the pieces of information we’ve received, a way to kind of “mind file” for the day.

When we don’t give adequate time for these processes or we simply don’t get enough rest, our mind cannot maintain its state of fitness, just like our bodies aren’t capable of fitness if there is no chance to rest and replenish.

Modern alternative medicine and holistic healers believe in the power of the energy that flows through our bodies; this energy radiates from our mind as well. It is believed to be the chief form of transportation for our body’s nervous system to carry out communication.

Breathing techniques, music, aromas, and candle therapy are all ways we utilize the opportunities to reflect throughout our day in order to allow our mind to rest and replenish itself for further use. These methods keep us mentally fit, but they do not work alone.  It is important that we create room for the absorption of new information, new opportunities to learn, and creative play to provide our mind the stimulus it needs in order to stay fit and functioning.

The onset of many age-related mental disorders occurs because we haven’t taken the time to keep our mind youthful and involved in new learning. Learning new things forces our mind to form new neural pathways.  We need those neural pathways for the transmission of information from the body to the mind with our ability to form new memories.  If we don’t exercise the mind we lose its fitness.

We must remember over the course of our daily routine, to make time to maintain mental fitness, as we strive to maintain physical fitness. The lovely thing about the whole process is that, as we go about accomplishing these tasks, quite often the opportunities for preservation and care are interchangeable. We can help to quite our mind as we take our twenty minute walk and we have the opportunity to build muscle strength as we meditate.

Often just the opportunity to listen to music will allow our mind the chance it needs to relax and regroup. It’s not always the most formal of occasions that we find an available chance to reflect and listen to that inner voice.  It can be in the middle of the day, with the wind blowing through your hair, and the radio turned up really loud!

That’s Mind Fitness!!




Gift Yourself with Relaxation

Are you under stress day in and day out? So much to do.  Deadlines to meet, tasks to be completed, too much traffic, taking the children to practice, going to the grocery store, etc.  The list can go on and on, I suppose.  This type of stress is bad stress.

It is common to find yourselves stressed during the week, with an outlook to relaxing on the weekend. But most of the times, do you really relax on the weekends?

Ponder on this. Is this the right way of living?  How is all this stress affecting you emotionally, physically, and yes your health?

In common terminology, relaxation means that we leave ourselves free of tension. A relaxing mind may mean that the mind is not under stress or active. In today’s lifestyle, this looks difficult. Doesn’t it?

Let us discuss why most of us are stressed all the time.

At some time in our life, while chasing the dreams we had as a child, we lose our habit of sitting back and reflecting. We begin giving auto responses. If we are held up in a traffic jam, our response is – either to worry about getting to work on time, we start the blame game, or express some sort of negative thought.

How many times do you pause and think – All right. Traffic is not moving, let me relax, listen to music that will help keep me calm, revisit some childhood memories, and or think about your close friends. Instead of stressing out over slow traffic, take that time and make the best of it, relax and enjoy the scenery.  You will be amazed at what you see when you begin to notice the beauty of Mother Nature.

Not many of us respond in this way. The usual response is stress and anxiety whenever we come across any similar situation. This habit is taking a big toll on your quality of life.

Stress – A way of life.

We have accepted and taken stress as a way of life. Very few of us stop to think about how we are living and work at such a hectic pace. Ultimately, we are going to leave this world with a lot of incomplete work, why not at least work in a relaxed way? What is the use of working and being stressed out all the time in search of a better tomorrow, we kill the present joy of life. Life is so precious.

So what can we do about a stressed work environment, stressed family life, and no time to take a nature walk that can really help alleviate stress? We put so much stress on ourselves by taking on too many responsibilities.  It’s ok to say no if it is best for you.  It’s time that we start to focus on ourselves.  That which in our best interest.  Rome wasn’t built in on day, so the saying goes.   Little by little, step by step, eventually it will get done.

It is as if we want to achieve everything in the shortest possible time and therefore have no time to relax. We work non-stop all the week as if it a normal way of life.  All this stress has resulted in the increase incidents of cardiac attacks, depression, suicide, anger outburst, etc. 75% of most visits to the Dr.’s office are stress related.  All the results of the stressed lifestyle we choose to live.

But, You do have a choice! We all have a choice!  Free Will, The freedom to choose.

What will you choose? What changes will you make to decrease the amount of stress in your life?

It’s possible to live a life that is relaxed throughout the week? It’s possible to relax your frame of mind.

It starts with some reflection about your own life. It is very essential if you want to reclaim your right to live peacefully. You decide what works best for you, besides, who know best?  Nature scenes in your work space, mediation or relaxing music playing while you work, more 5 minute breaks in between work just by standing up and stretching and taking deep breathes.

Taking a walk in the afternoon around your neighborhood or at a park. Sitting in your back yard for 15 minutes with no distractions, lying down on the floor with your eyes closed in your bed room in the dark with mediation music for a few minutes.  Give them a try.  Give yourself with the precious gift of relaxation.